Monday, 15 February 2016

My Catfish Story..

So I'm finally going to talk about that time I got Catfished. I'm going to change names because I'm nice like that. I think it's great that I'm actually at a stage of my life where I can laugh about what happened. Fake profiles are EVERYWHERE online, I have seen so many fake blogs. You can never be sure, always remember to be safe. No matter how old you are.

So... One day I got this message from someone called Peter, (remember fake names). After weeks of us re tweeting, faving and the odd tweet too each HE finally sent me a message. We chatted for hours, I remember I stayed up late just to speak to him. As you can imagine we got on like a house on fire, we had so many things in common. I think we fell for each other over night, we both had similar situations we was dealing with so attached on to each other pretty fast. 

Peter was 25 from Argentina, I'd never spoke to anyone from there so just that alone was exciting. Oh my god weeks, months passed he was amazing, we was in 'love' everything was great. The only thing I can say was wrong now that I didnt realise at the time is that we had only ever spoke via twitter and whatsapp!  I was happy with speaking to him this way, we texted 24-7 everyday. He was there when ever I needed him, time difference and long distance effected us. I relied on him that much and also enjoyed talking to him that much that I'd go to bed late just to carry on speaking to him, leaving myself with little or no sleep and had to work long shifts the next day. of course it was all worth it, who needs sleep anyway?  

We had been dating a year, I often brought the talk of skype and facetime up but it just never happend for one reason or another. We spoke about meeting up, we actually spoke about this a lot. There was nothing we wanted more! I woke up one morning and Peter was like TONI SHALL WE JUST DO IT? we'll move to Brazil, be together, just us! The only thing I could think about was omg we will be together, live together and IN BRAZIL? why the frigging hell not. So I worked my ass off I saved and saved. I made enough money that I'd finally be able to buy a plane ticket to Brazil and have money left over to live on, it was all very exciting! 

So two days before I was planning on booking my flight ticket I got the longest messaged I'd ever read. I read it about 10 times, I was in disbelief. Has the whole 14 months been a lie? is everything a lie? Peter sent a message and I'll never forget how it started. "Toni I love you but I cant lie anymore. My names not Peter, my name is dani and im a girl" A GIRL??? A FRIGGING GIRL?? i felt like a stupid tit to be honest. I never had any doubts that peter wasnt peter, I never had any doubts that peter was a girl. He acted like a boy! My life instantly got turned upside down, of course everything felt like a lie. I questioned everything he/she had ever said. Did this person even love me? who the hell knows. He/she said everything else was real and that they loved me and wanted me to live in Brazil. Small problem, I'm not a lessbian, I couldnt just become a lesbian. I couldn't forgive this person and how could I ever stay in a relationship with them? there was no trust. At least he/she told me before I booked the plane tickets. If things couldn't get any worst this person wasn't just catfishing me they had another account which they catfished peope on. 

While I was getting Catfished I would watch the MTV show catfish and think it's so obvious how do they not know this is happening? How stupid was I, it can literally happen to anyone at anytime. You just don't think anything like that would happen to you. I don't speak to Dani anymore. That person has been completely cut out myself, I would never date online again, if I did I would meet them straight away. I am currently in a happy and healthy relationship with my boyfriend, we are trying for a baby and life is amazing. I now realise I was never in love withh Dani, as that relationship doesn't compare to my relationship now. You should be careful when speaking to people online, not everything is as it seems. 

I hope Dani finds peace and happiness within herself. I don't hate her, yes I was embarressed for a while but I got over it. I think she obviously had bigger problems which she couldn't handle. If you do have a false account catfishing someone just take a minute and think how it would feel. 

Love Toni


Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Cheap Date Ideas

I know everyone wants to go to the most gorgeous places on dates but personally for me money is an issue. I wish I could afford to go to lots of nice places, but it's just not possible. I have threw together some ideas that are cheap or completely free. I can't wait to plan some with my boyfriend!

1. Choose anything shopping date. So I actually just done this in the ASDA. My boyfriend gave me a budget of £10.00 to pick anything I want, so I picked a pare of PJ's! I love this idea as it gets us out the house too.

2. Game night at home. You can get board games everywhere cheap now, how lovely to just play a game with a wine?

3. Late Night Drive. Ok so it doesn't have to be super late, but I love night time driving. Music and some hella good conversation!

3. Cook Together. This is something we never do because the saying 'Too many cooks in the kitchen' is us. 

4. Cheesy Photo Booth. I love photo booths, I love that you have these 4 little picture memories!

5. Movie & Popcorn. I love movies and popcorn, mix them both together and bobs your uncle! PERFECT. 

6. Go Bowling. I always forget about bowling, it's so cheap and fun!

7.  Park Date. I love nothing more than going the park and feeding the ducks.

8. Netflix and Chill. Enough said!

9. Ride Bikes. I think this is great as you are also getting fit together. 

10. Selfie Night. I have seen a few people go places and just take selfies all night, its cute and plus you have a ton of pictures to look back on.


Sunday, 7 February 2016

Valentines Gifts under £10.00

So it's nearly that time of year, Valentines day! If your single then don't worry some of the things I've picked are just nice things to treat yourselves too. These little gifts won't break the bank which is always a good thing. When it comes to a special occasion well in advance I point things out online to my boyfriend so he has an idea what I want. Always works!

1. I love Cups, imagine waking up valentines morning with a nice cup of tea/coffee of your lover.. CUTE!

This is £6.00 from ASOS

2. SEXY UNDERWEAR MONTH! Honestly I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year and I've never bought a pair of sexy underwear to wear for him. I think I will buy something this month as a little treat. I love this thong.

Thong £10.00 from ASOS

3. Date night cook book, this idea is great. I love cooking for my boyfriend and I'm not the best cook so never really have any good ideas. This is perfect!

Date Night Cook Book £9.99 ASOS

4. I love this decision dices! There a cheap and simple way to add a bit of fun to your sex life. There great for beginners too!

Decision Dice £4.00 ASOS

5. This is so simple yet cute. I would love this as a present!

iPhone case £8.00 ASOS

6. Valentines Disney socks. How can you go wrong? these are adorable!

Disney Socks £5.00 ASOS

7. The best card EVER! So I had to get this for my boyfriend, I would definitely shave my legs for him!

Card £3.00 ASOS 

8. Paint the town! Ah I love a good colouring book, this one is fantastic!

Colouring book £8.00 ASOS


Wednesday, 3 February 2016

'Get To Know Me' Tag.

The last few months I have gained quite a lot of readers, so I thought it would be great for everyone to get to know me more. Currently writing this at 3am as I can't sleep!

1. How old are you and what's your job?

I'm 24 & I'm a support worker for adults.

2. Do you have any hobbies?

My main hobby is running my blog as that take's a lot of time spare time up. Also I enjoy drawing.

3. What's your favourite drink?

I'm not a huge drinker but when I do Vodka and coke is my go too.

4.  Do you wear the same style everyday?

My style is dresses with leggings/tights which I pretty much wear everyday!

5. How long does it take you to put your makeup on?

It depends on where I'm going. Anything from half an hour to an hour! It depends on how much time I actually have.

6. Do you have a favourite song?

I think it's hard to pick just one song. I couldn't possibly! I'm loving Adele's new album at the moment.

7. What is your favourite food?

I love Chinese & Indian yum!

8. Favourite book of all time?

Twilight & Harry potter. They bring me so many memories!

9. What is the last thing you bought?

I think it was food and I got a new pot to hold my makeup brushes.

10. Favourite colour?

I think it depends on the season! I love blue 

11. Do you have any pets?

I have one dog called Eddy, he doesn't live with me though.

12. Favourite perfume?

The only perfumes I use are Beyonce and next. I definitely want to start trying some high end ones.

13. Favourite holiday?

I think it's got to be America. I travelled around America last year and it was amazing!

14. Are you married or in a relationship?

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend Jim!

15. What makes you happy?

I think it's my boyfriend, family and friends!

16.  What makes you sad?

Being ill, I suffer with Endometriosis and PCOS!

17. Favourite place to eat?

There is a Indian in Widnes and I'm obsessed with it! It's called the Saffron.

18. When was the last time you cried?

Today, I cry all the time! Literally.

19. What phone do you have?

I have the silver iPhone 6 and I loveeeeeeeeeee it!

20. How tall are you?

I'm 5'7


Thursday, 28 January 2016

Is it the new cool to have anxiety?

I read something yesterday, a young man on facebook said "Is it the new cool to have anxiety?" I was confused, angry and sad. How dumb was this boy? is he just plain stupid or uneducated? Of course I had to inbox him. I asked him did he have anxiety, I thought maybe he was upset that people don't understand how he is feeling dealing with anxiety. I like to see the best in people you see, so I'll always try think of an excuse to bring the best out in people. 
Anyway the young man replied to me and said he didn't have anxiety. I told him without going on that I have anxiety and know people who have anxiety too. I told him that myself and others didn't wake up one morning and think oh today is the day I'm going to have anxiety to be one of the cool kids. I am far from cool, I don't try to be cool, being cool is not appealing to me. I have far to much in my life to deal with than the extra effort to be cool. So yeah can you tell that whole cool comment pissed me off? lol.

I think its amazing that people are so vocal with having Anxiety. Can you imagine if no one was? can you imagine a boy or girl in school dealing with anxiety and no one ever spoke about it. Imagine how little they would know about it, imagine that young boy or girl thinking there the only person on the planet with anxiety. That breaks my heart! I'm so happy we all have the courage to speak about this, I'm so proud of everyone who deals with this everyday. 

Everyday living with Anxiety is a struggle, even when I'm at my best. My Anxiety is always with me, and the panic that comes with it is always there, tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me it hasn't gone. I have good days where I can brush it off, but on my bad days I just want to be in my bed. When your having a real shitty day just remember to BREATHE, you're going to be okay you know so just BREATHE. You have been in this place before, you have felt this bad before and you somehow made it out the other side. I know the pain your feeling is unbearable but you have been threw this many times. I promise it will pass! 

Depression, Anxiety and Panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. There a sign of trying to remain strong for to long.

Stay strong everyone. 
Love Toni


Monday, 25 January 2016

How To Satisfy Us Girls

So here is a little count down of what I personally like and after chatting to some friends also what they like too. So guys, have a read and satisfy your girl. 

10. Give her boobs more attention

What I've noticed is that men pay attention to your boobs during foreplay but when you actually get down to the main event there forgotten about. Don't forget about them baby's, grab them nipples during sex and it will drive her wild. 

9. Give her a G-Spot orgasm

Try your best, I know a lot of girls can't achieve this. It's not necessary the man's fault, if you haven't achieved one I would definitely sit down with your partner and do some research on the best positions because its fricking amazing and we all deserve one. 

8. Surprise her with a quickie

Oh my god, yesssss! DO THIS, am I the only one who thinks this leaves you feeling irresistible? I love nothing more than being jumped on, not being fully undressed and having sex. It always feels naughtier. 

7. Gently pull her hair

One time I was having sex from behind and my hair got pulled and I felt like a hooker not going to lie. Make sure you tell your man to do it gently, from the front let him run his hands threw your hair and gently pull. 

6. Talk dirty to her

Back when I was a virgin the thought of someone talking dirty to me cringed me out. In my current relationship I love nothing more than some dirty talk. It's a big turn on for me, and I'm sure plenty of others. Don't be shy to talk dirty to each other, if he say's something you don't like tell him. 

5. Nibble on her neck

Now don't go all Edward Cullen on her. The skin that stretches from underneath your ear to your collarbone is very thin, which makes it so sensitive. Nibble it, kiss it and lick it. Don't leave huge hickeys because that would be very high school of you.   

4. Bring her to climax with oral

There is nothing better than for your girlfriend to lay back and feel spoilt. I think the more practice you have together the better it gets. Be vocal, let them know what you like and what you don't. 

3. Touch her hot spot mid action

Most women can't orgasm without clit stimulation. A lot of women think there doing something wrong because they can't cum without it, but no it's very normal for a female. The key is to experiment!

2. Kiss her during sex

Oh my gosh guys why do you forget to do this? there is nothing better than making love and you just kiss the face of us. I love getting lost in the moment and just kissing, makes me feel so loved.

1. Be more aggressive

There has honestly been so many times when my boyfriend has said "I don't want to hurt you". You just have to reassure them that there not hurting and that your enjoying it. If your not enjoying what there doing BE VOCAL. Communication is everything. After all you will no doubt be having a lot more sex with them so it's best getting it right now. 

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Week 3 of 2016

If your having a shit January, head up it's nearly over!

After a lovely sleep in I woke up Monday morning hoping for snow seeing as I was off work. Nope, I'm sure it will snow when I'm in work and can't enjoy it though. I didn't want to spend my Monday stuck at home all day so I decided to grab some lunch with the other half at subway, can't go wrong with a subway meal. Still feeling guilty having a cookie, why couldn't I just get the sub? why did I have to get the cookie too. I have no willpower!! However the cookie was delicious and life is to short to refuse a cookie. I got a little to excited that the cup had star wars on it.. The small things in life! We went to Morrison's to get our weekly shop, because I'm a adult and that's what adults do right? lol. I decided to treat myself to a gorgeous new outfit from Simply Be!

So we decided to go the cinema on Sunday to watch The Revenant. I couldn't wait any longer I've heard so much feedback from people saying it's amazing. I loved it, I wont say to much because SPOILERS. However the bear scene was just something else, and the way it was shot was incredible. We decided to grab a quick pub meal which was lovely.

I woke up at 2.30am on Wednesday morning screaming and crying in pain. I literally cannot cope with the pain I'm in constantly. Endometriosis is the bitch of all bitches, I literally feel like my insides are being stabbed. I went the toilet and couldn't even lift myself of the toilet. It's not the nicest situation when you are screaming crying for you boyfriend to come lift you off the toilet at 3am. Thank god he is so amazing, don't know what I'd do without him. All this pain means I have to take yet another unpaid day off work, which is really stressing me out because I obviously can't afford it! 
After finally getting 2 hours sleep I dragged myself out the bed and made my self a Tuna sandwich. I needed something healthy that wouldn't be to heavy on my stomach.

Thursday I ended up bed ridden again. On Friday my pains didn't fully go but they was a lot less intense. My boyfriend has a job interview and got the job, which is fantastic! Maldives here we come. We decided to go on a little walk around the park. Which was lovely and romantic!

I'm pretty sure my Saturday and Sunday have rolled into one. We have had the most lazy two days ever! We made pancakes, I put white chocolate in mine, which where delicious and are going to be a once a month treat I think. We have just ate and watched TV! Nothing to exciting has gone on. 
My boyfriend is making us a gorgeous roast today so I can't wait to tuck into that. 
Last night my blog hit goals I could only dream about, My post about the positives on dating a older guy got so much feedback. Thank you so much if you read it :)

Love Toni

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